Chores, no problem!

Monday, July 08, 2019



Each time I tell somebody that I am cooking for my husband at home or doing laundry for both of us or share my stories of cleaning the house, some girlfriends will show discomfort. I was told that it was backward and shallow, and I should encourage other women to recognize their rights at home. Wait, what rights? Then, I was told that since I am a career woman, I should use the privilege of ordering food or hiring a helper to do household chores for me. I was told to rest after a long day at work. Then, I was told to teach my husband to take some responsibility for the chores because housework is not exclusively a woman's job.

Okay, hold up! WHAT?! I have no problem with that statement, but I have a problem when women start to present excuses and stop other women from doing housework in the name of women empowerment. I enjoy cooking for my father, my brother and my husband at home. I don't see any problem with doing laundry. In fact, we share some of the load. I don't cook every single day, I don't fold clothes every day. I used to manage all of that every day when my mum passed away, then I realized that I need not be so hard on myself. Of course, the longer I stop doing housework, the lazier I become. Bad habit!

I was at a talk in the weekend and the speaker mentioned - "Buat kopi untuk suami pun ibadah". It's an easy access to obtain rewards. Sure, he can get the coffee himself, but I'd love it if this deed will probably bring me into Jannah one day. My husband isn't perfect. He needs reminders. Dear, close the cupboard. Dear, throw out the trash. Dear, put the clothes in the basket. He called me just to tell me I didn't close the box of biscuits. Those reminders and mini squabbles give this marriage some authenticity. We constantly remind each other to be better every day.

It is okay to cook for the husband, it is okay to iron his clothes, it is okay to wash his dishes, it is okay to learn cooking. Get him to involve. There's nothing shallow cleaning the home because it is basic hygiene. There's nothing wrong with cooking because it gives you energy. There's nothing wrong with ironing clothes because, eh come on lah... common sense!

All I'm saying is we are so caught up with focusing on our rights. We forget that we are actually doing things for Allah. While doing dishes, instead of telling your husband that he should be the one doing it, practice some gratitude. Remind yourself to be thankful to Allah for giving you dishes to wash. Some people eat scraps from bins. The next time you iron that cotton t-shirt, remind yourself to thank Allah for giving you money to buy clothes. Remember Allah in every situation, and you won't find yourself complaining. Motivate, instead of calling other women backward for cooking at home.

Of course, a husband who doesn't help mintak kena ketuk lah! Communicate with him respectfully. Don't let that destroy your relationship with Allah. Doing housework isn't backward. You're doing it for Allah, how is that backdated?

Love,

Amalia on falia.and.amz

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