Why am I not married?

Sunday, October 16, 2016

[Edited] That riled me a lot for a few weeks, and it was answered in class this week. My good friends are married, and people are changing their FB statuses during the weekends. Friends and acquaintances are asking when I am getting married. Social media users use religion to pressure me into marrying young because it helps to lower my gaze and guard my modesty. #relationshipgoals everywhere. Hantaran not in Islam kinda posts somehow worry the younger generations. I am reminded that I do not need to throw a huge wedding because rezeki comes after marriage. With all that pressure, I just need to get married.

"If you don't get the right guy, stay single."
"If any guy doesn't honour you, your family, your parents, stay single, or your life will be hell."
"Why are you asking something that may take you away from Allah?"
"It is a burden in your life because it is a responsibility (once you're married)."

 - Words from an ustazah of the class I attended.

What is meant for you, is meant for you. Trust Him that there is a reason behind it. Instead, focus on something else. If you aspire to get a degree, get it. If you want to get promoted, go for it. If you want to learn Arabic, learn it.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying married woman can't achieve things. Many women proved their success. It may just be harder and extra challenging for you to accomplish things because priorities change. I am writing this post to stay positive because my jodoh belum sampai lagi. & that, it's up to us to use this opportunity instead of sitting around and asking ourselves why we are not married. Don't just put your focus on getting married.

It is possible that Allah is giving us time to be a better version of ourselves. It is possible that He is handing us the chance to be better prepared. It is up to us to make use of this opportunity. Isn't it a blessing that we are given the time to be ready for it? When it happens, it happens. By asking to get married, we are asking for a responsibility to be a wife or a husband to someone. And when we are married, we will complain and fret about our partners. Then we will ask for children and that's another set of responsibility. When we face adversity, remember that we once asked Allah for it. Didn't we make doa to get married?

May we only ask Allah to give what's best for us and if it's not meant to be, keep us away from it, and make us satisfied with it.


Amalia on falia.and.amz

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