Jodoh cerminan kita?

Sunday, July 31, 2016

I am wide awake at almost 4am because I am bothered. I received emails about my breakup. Most of the instagram messages and emails were written to congratulate me. Some told me more juicy stories about the same dude. But there were a few which bothered me. It came after this post.

"I know he is up to something. I just cannot prove it. I should try what you suggested from the post. What do I do?" 

That post came from a feisty woman who was so heartbroken, she needed to protect all the women in the world from such men. She wanted to reveal their secrets. She did not even care of any consequences. My answer after that post was don't. If you find yourself going through the things that I did to find out every single evidence of his mischief, you should leave. Firstly, have some self-respect. Ask yourself if you really want to continue digging up all your life like it's an unpaid full time job. What if you discover the truth only after you're married? By then, it'd be too late. All you need to do is ask him. If he is really faithful, he'll continue to reassure you. If he is all defensive and if he ever makes you feel guilty for asking, then you have the answer. An ideal man should make you feel safe. This is not your ticket to play all psychotic by the way. If you have to keep on asking, he has every right to be defensive. Especially when he's not cheating.

Nobody gets away with things they hide. It may take days, months or even years for things to reveal itself. Have faith that you'll be protected from evil. Do you know that a little birdy told me he asked how I found out because he thought that when he did those things, it was all without my knowledge? I pitied him actually. Who does he think he is? God? 

Another email I received was about this post. When I wrote my heart out about the other girl.

"The other woman is not even pretty or successful than me. I cried because how could he? Your post was the exact same words I wanted to tell her. I could not stop stalking her."

Guilty as charged. Let's be truthful. We all stalk the new girlfriend. We want to know every single detail of her. We probably use the magnifying glass to look for a single zit on her face. We find out from friends about her previous relationship, we have all the bad names for her at the back of our heads, we went all psychotic and we refused to admit it. Hilarious!

It's toxic and it requires a huge amount of discipline to follow through. When I wrote that post, I wanted to prove that I was so much better than her. Until a relative said something to me and I wish to share it with you.

"Jadi baik, dapat yang baik. Jadi jahat, dapat yang jahat. Jodoh tu cerminan kita. Sebab tu mereka serasi. Amalia baik ke jahat?" 

I remembered crying that night because I had my answer. I stopped stalking.


Amalia on falia.and.amz

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